Meet the Herd
AENGUS
Moonlights as a comedian. His favorite joke is: “Wanna go on a picnic? … Alpaca Lunch.” The herd doesn’t laugh anymore.
ALISTAIR
Smokes cigars and watches Fox News on full volume.
AMELIA
Has never worked a day in her life. Loves salad. She can even, she just chooses not to.
BRIGID
Aspiring dental office receptionist. Goes to Zumba once a week, but complains the entire time.
BRISTOL
Rosé all day. Her standards are high, just like her heels. A woman with ambition and a heart of gold.
CAECHAN
You can find him at the neighborhood pool during all four seasons.
FINNIGAN
Server at the Cheesecake Factory. Always down for karaoke.
FIONA
Proud supporter of Oreos and sweatpants. Never pays for her own drinks.
GALLAGHER
Would like to run for President, but is afraid the Secret Service would frown on him grazing on the White House lawn.
GHILLIE DHU
Proudly wears an alpaca sweater during the winter. It’s made from her ex-husband.
KYLA
Falls asleep during every movie. Tries to use expired coupons. Not mad you lied to her, just disappointed.
MADAILEIN
Bites her nails. Has tried every coffee shop in the area. Puts too much salt on EVERYTHING.
MAGGIE
Wishes Gallagher would just notice her for once. Rings in the new year with sparkling apple juice. Volunteers at the local zoo.
O’RIVERS
Quit cigarettes, but still bums them. Drives a Volvo. Likes to keep a shoe-free home.
POPPY
Smacks her gum. Constantly complaining about her poorly done pedicure.
RAINES
Arrives early for parties so he can try the dip before anyone else.
REED
Dressed up as a lint brush for Halloween. It was easy. All he did was roll around in the hay.
SAOIRSE
Once lost a staring contest. She felt worse after she realized her opponent was a fence post.
SEAFRA
The herd’s youth pastor. Got a “degree in life” after backpacking in Ecuador for a few weeks.
SEAMUS
Only carries $100 bills and has a cane for literally no reason at all.
SEARLAS
Collects beeswax chapstick. Hot yoga aficionado. Drinks a fig and flaxseed smoothie for breakfast every morning.
SIOBHAN
Wore Converse shoes to prom. Buys a 2 liter of creme soda at least once a week.
TARRTHAIL
Rents the same beach house on the same weekend of every year for the same vacation.
TEAGAN
Turned down the chance to be the first alpaca on the moon. She says it’s because she’s lactose intolerant.